Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

I read her books a year ago,
all seven of them -
devoured them,
this girl who doesn't understand normal
until she reads it from a book.
Looking for answers.
Nothing penetrated
except for the fact
that many bereaved people
often had visions,
or signs from their loved ones
who had died.

But I didn't.

It was more confirmation
that something was wrong with me.
I desperately wanted to know
where he was,
and if he was happy,
so I would be able to "let go".
But nothing came.

One night, I did have a dream -
he was back in my arms and smiling -
but then I cruelly woke up.
I was convinced -
my "sign" had just told me
he should be back with me.
I'm not very good
at interpreting dreams I guess -
I gave up on that vision Kubler-Ross stuff.

And since I gave up, oh wise me,
I figured I'd surely get a sign.
After all, you can't push those sort of things.

Well, it's been...
almost 1 1/2 years now,
and still nothing.
I have no more sense
of where he is, or why he died,
than I did on the day he died.
In fact, I knew more
on that day because back then
I had something called faith.

So I'm just gonna take Elisabeth's word
and believe that dead is not bad,
and that he is somewhere
with the unicorns.

.