Amazing

August 1984

My year of grief is almost up.
Am I healing?
I alternate between
total acceptance and total unbelief,
nonacceptance, rebellion.

Except I think
my "total acceptance"
is really passivity, hopelessness,
giving up.
It will never change -
I am forced to believe it.

So I guess,
after a year of not having him,
and the basic belief
that he wasn't kidnapped
because there doesn't seem to be any
"Jacob Is Missing" posters,
and knowing he was too young to be a runaway...

I guess I'm into... Forced Acceptance.
.