September 1984

September 1984

Doctor,

I want Jacob back - please, please get him back for me. Surely, YOU can do something. I mean, there's got to be some reason I put you way up on that pedestal. It's time to earn your keep up there.

Isn't this ridiculous? I can go day after day, being a near normal person, accepting things as they are, adjusting to life without my baby (sometimes by just ignoring it, I can get by) but I am learning that life does go on, sometimes happily.

But tonite. Crashing for no reason. None that I am conscious of anyways. And I usually know what my unconscious is running from. No... tonite, I am back to disbelief, it's all a nightmare, and I'll be waking up any minute now.

Damn it, why CAN'T you get him back for me? I know that's what you'll say. A perfectly logical thing to say, I admit. But I don't believe it. Way back in the middle of my brain, I know it's all just a cruel trick. A way to teach me something, but I must be flunking, cause I don't have him back for learning whatever I'm spose to learn.

And you know what? I really don't know that I can't get him back. That is pretty damn spooky. To think that my baby is somewhere out there and I, as his mother, can't find him.

So... you are it. Jacob is out there somewhere, needing me as much as I need him, and I need your help. Or something. If you can't do it, who do I go to that's higher up than you?
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