Leaving the house...

I hated to leave the house.
I never knew
what was going to happen
when I left the house.
Would we be sent back
into the hospital,
would my furniture be home
when I got home,
would Jacob throw up
in the car seat
and choke to death
before I could stop the car?
.

Would he explode with urine
if I didn't cath him on time,
cause we were too long
at the physical therapists?
How many bags
did I really need
to go to the store?
Jacob's diaper bag,
Jeremy's diaper bag,
a cathing bag,
AND my purse?
With a newborn
AND a toddler?
Yea right.

Would the doctors
say something else
for me to worry about?
Should I keep Jeremy with me
or with a friend?

The heat in the car made
Jacob's skin look waxy
and often I'd have to poke him
to see if he was still breathing.

I hated leaving the house.
.