Beneath This Calm Exterior

Beneath This Calm Exterior

When my eyes are bleeding,
when terror scraps it's claws across my gut,
it's not enough to hear you say,
"everything's gonna be all right".

When my stomach spasms,
and thrashing does nothing
to keep the water
from closing over my head,
it's not enough
to be hauled up onto land,
and left alone only to die.

If I knew how to scream
maybe then you would hear me.
But my voice freezes,
terror takes my voice away.
I scream with my eyes
but no one can see.

In time, bravery grows to virtue,
submission descends to defeat.
Layer on layer upon layer,
I paint this cell with
the colors that bring praise and distance.

But before you say
this house is pretty
on the outside,
remember that I clean the walls
by eating the spiders.

Unknown


2007 Extra Note - I did not write this and don't know where I got it. But I love it. It still takes my breathe away with it's accuracy of pain. If anyone knows where it came from, let me know. I believe it came from a book regarding abuse and it was focused towards men.

2015 Extra Note - The book had a white cover.  I still love this poem.  
 
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