Medical Slick

Medical Slick

How easily soothed was I.
"Your baby has some problems, BUT!"
My questions were ignored by some;
a social worker told me
there was information available,
"but it wouldn't be appropriate for me".
A neurologist told horror stories
of other babies he'd seen long ago,
but told me nothing of my own.

Another said my baby
would be "just fine",
once the corrective surgery
was done and working properly;
maybe mild to moderate retardation,
but not to worry!

His heart stopped
during one of the surgeries,
no one knows why,
but they brought him out of it,
without further incident.

Yet another doctor says,
"I don't know".
His are the most frustrating
because it is hard
to ask questions
only to be told
there are no answers -
should I stop asking?
Doctors are supposed to know,
are they not?

What is inappropriate
for me to know? I am the mother.
Why does the doctor terrify me
with stories of babies 25 years ago?
And how come another doctor doesn't know?
Only afterwards do I learn... 30% die.
That's a pretty big percentage...

huge...

...when one of them is your own.


2009 Extra Note - This picture was taken after the surgery where he stopped breathing. I had decided  that the only way to be a family was to bring Jeremy to the hospital too. I told the doctors it was the only way I'd bring Jacob back in, cause we needed to be a family. You can't see it in the picture but both had been sucking their thumbs when they fell asleep, and they're little hands were laying next to their faces in the exact same position. It was adorable..