Support Person

Support Person

I enjoy helping,
but the demands are great.
I admire those who have the shut-off valve
and can go home to live their normal lives
after talking with a new parent who has just lost a child.
For me, there is no shut-off valve
and I find the death of children eating me up alive.
I cannot continue to eat, drink,
and sleep death for the rest of my life.
The line is too fine for me,
and I keep tipping over, into the wrong side.
It's time for my grief to be packed away into a box -
like the rest of his things -
to be opened at my will instead of the will of others
who seek comfort by knowing my story
and my process of survival; reminding me so constantly.

There comes a time when grief must be put down.
There is a time for living with death -
for it needs to be sorted out and assimilated into our life,
but not into our living.
It's time to stop looking back,
and start looking ahead at the future.
His memories are tucked into my heart,
and are just as much a part of me
as his physical body used to be.

The time has come for me to let go of all of it.

I'm not quitting - I'm just done.