April 1985

April 1985

Dream #1

Jacob's dead body is laying on my bed and there's a party going on in the living room. I keep checking on him, re-covering his body with more blankets, re-positioning his cold and stiff body and I am irritated with the stiffness of his body. The people at the party try to convince me to leave him alone and come out and have some fun. I know they are right. But as long as his body was there, I had to take care of it. I was torn between wanting to join the fun, and feeling compelled to take care of my baby. I kept wishing his body would just disappear, to I could have some fun.

Dream #2

I'm in a huge shopping mall, carrying Jacob's dead body, looking for a place to put him. I go into each shop and ask the owner if I can leave him there. But either the shop doesn't seem quite right, or the shopkeeper doesn't understand, or they're just too snotty. I can't seem to find the perfect place for him. I need to leave him somewhere safe so I could leave him.

Dream #3

Jacob's dead body is in the trunk of my car, and I am driving all over town, looking for the place he belongs, wherever that is. It gets hotter as the day goes on, and I am panicked by the heat. Every time I stop at a stoplight, I get out to check the trunk to see if he's melting away. Eventually, his body starts to rot away, and I am in a total frenzy, driving around town, looking for the place I'm supposed to leave him.
.