Book Learning

Book Learning

Jacob's life was the only time
in my life when I did not turn to books.
How to build a wedding,
how to be happily married,
how to be healthily pregnant,
how to parent,
and how do babies grow.

Followed by how to bring back your man,
how to be divorced,
how to survive divorce,
and how to just plain survive.

I forgot to read
the pregnancy books
when pregnant with Jacob.
I was too busy reading the Bible.

And then he was born.
I was given books
and titles everywhere I went.
I read nothing of handicapped children -
for the first time I let myself feel what I felt -
I didn't want to document my normalcy.

Until he died.
Then the books replaced my feelings once again.
How to die right,
the right to die,
life after death,
and how to survive.

And to hell with the Bible.