Sideways Grief

Sideways Grief

It hurts too much
to think about my baby on purpose.
So I cry easily for every other little thing.
The telethons for children
bring immediate tears for babies
in hospitals or braces;
the songs and the poetry
touching every nerve too close to home,
too close to the surface.
I give because of MY baby,
although I dislike the theory of telethons
and using hurt children to beg for money.

I cry at the McDonald's commercials
and especially for Hallmark cards.
I cry for Olympic winners and for the losers too.
I cry during church services,
rarely hearing the sermon
because of the struggle within.
The tears are for the emptiness
of my arms and the emptiness of my soul.

I cry too easily when I run out of milk,
or when I'm tired, or when the car won't start.

Life really isn't this sad or difficult, but I can't quit crying.
.