The Night Before...

The Night Before

I go to bed planning
the speech for the doctors.

I want to know why
my baby is having so much trouble.
No more surgeries until I understand why.
Should I take him to Seattle,
how is he to make any progress
when he's always recovering from "surgery shock"?
If we don't get going on this,
won't his "possible" or "mild to moderate"
brain damage be more likely?

Or is this something
that will never change -
surgeries every so often?
Just tell me what to expect
so that I can adjust and adapt.
Cause I will, you know.

I felt brave and strong,
ready to fight for my baby.

Finally.

I fell asleep, smiling at a
earlier memory this evening.
When I changed his diaper
on the changing table,
I turned away to wash
the cathing stuff at the sink.
When I turned back to him,
he had "creeped"
to the edge
of the changing table.

It thrilled me to have
a "normal" worry for a change....
Baby Care 101 -
"Don't leave your baby
on surfaces he can fall from".
He was getting strong enough
to move around in a fashion.

A "normal" worry felt so good!
.